Emotion Regulation - DBT

Anger Words

anger
aggravation
agitation
annoyance

bitterness
exasperation
ferocity
frustration

fury
grouchiness
grumpiness
hostility

indignation
irritation
outrage
rage

vengefulness
wrath

Prompting Events for Feeling Anger

Having an important goal blocked
You or someone you care about being attacked or threatened by others
Losing power, status, or respect

Not having things turn out as expected
Physical or emotional pain
Other:

Interpretations of Events that Prompt Feelings of Anger

Believing that you have been treated unfairly
Blaming
Believing that important goals are being blocked or stopped
Believing that things "should" be different than they are

Rigidly thinking, "I'm right"
Judging that the situation is illegitimate or wrong
Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of anger

Muscles tightening
Teeth clamping together
Hands clenching
Feeling your face flush or get hot
Feeling like you're going to explode

Being unable to stop tears
Wanting to hit someone, bang the wall, throw something, blow up
Wanting to hurt someone
Other:

Expressions and actions of anger

Physically or verbally attacking
Making aggressive or threatening gestures
Pounding, throwing things, breaking things
Walking heavily, stomping, slamming doors
Walking out
Using a loud, quarrelsome, or sarcastic voice
Using obscenities or swearing
Criticizing or complaining

Clenching your hands or fists
Frowning, not smiling, mean expression
Brooding or withdrawing from others
Crying
Grinning
A red or flushed face
Other:

Aftereffects of anger

Narrowing of attention
Attending only to the situation that's making you angry
Ruminating about the situation making you angry or about situations in the past

Imagining future situations that will make you angry
Depersonalization, dissociative experiences, numbness
Other:

Disgust words

disgust
abhorrence
antipathy

aversion
condescension
contempt

dislike
derision
disdain

distaste
hate
loathing

repugnance
repelled
repulsion

resentment
revolted
scorn

sickened
spite
vile

Prompting events for feeling disgust

Seeing or smelling human or animal waste products
Having a person or animal that is dirty, slimy, or unclean come close to you
Tasting something or being forced to swallow something you really don't want
Seeing or being near a dead body
Touching items worn or owned by a stranger, dead person, or disliked person
Observing or hearing about a person who grovels or who strips another person of dignity

Seeing blood; getting blood drawn
Observing or hearing about a person acting with extreme hypocrisy or fawning
Observing or hearing about betrayal, child abuse, racism, or other types of cruelty
Being forced to watch something that deeply violates your values
Being confronted with someone who is deeply violating your values
Being forced to engage in or watch unwanted sexual contact
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of disgust

Believing that:

You are swallowing something toxic
Your skin or your mind is being contaminated
Your own body or body parts are ugly
Others are evil of the 'scum' of the earth, or that they disrespect authority or the group

Disapproving of or feeling morally superior to another

Extreme disapproval of yourself or your feelings, thoughts, or behaviors
Judging that a person is deeply immoral or has sinned or violated the natural order of things
Judging someone's body as extremely ugly
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of disgust

Feelings of nausea; sick Feelings
Urge to vomit; vomiting, gagging, choking
Having a lump in your throat
Aversion to drinking or eating
Intense urge to destroy or get rid of something

Urge to take a shower
Urge to run away or push away
Feeling contaminated, dirty, unclean
Feeling mentally polluted
Fainting
Other:

Expressions and actions of disgust

Vomiting, spitting out
Closing your eyes, looking away
Washing, scrubbing, taking a bath
Changing your clothes
Cleaning spaces
Avoiding eating or drinking
Pushing or kicking away; running away
Treating with disdain or disrespect
Stepping over; crowding another person out

Physically attacking the causes of your disgust
Using obscenities or cursing
Clenching your hands or fists
Frowning or not smiling
Mean or unpleasant facial expression
Speaking with a sarcastic voice tone
Nose and top lip tightened up; smirking
Other:

Aftereffects of discuss

Narrowing of attention
Ruminating about the situation that's making you feel disgusted

Becoming hypersensitive to dirt
Other:

Envy words

envy
bitterness
covetous

craving
discontented
disgruntled

displeased
dissatisfied
down-hearted

greed
"green-eyed"
longing

pettiness
resentment
wishful

Prompting events for feeling envy

Someone has something you really want or need but don't or can't have
You are not part of the "in" crowd
Someone appears to have everything
You are alone while others are having fun
Someone else gets credit for what you've done

Someone gets positive recognition for something and you don't
Others get something you really want and you don't get it
Being around people who have more than you have
Someone you are competing with is more successful than you in an area important to you
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of envy

Thinking you deserve what others have
Thinking that others have more than you
Thinking about how unfair it is that you have such a bad lot in life compared to others
Thinking you have been treated unfairly in life
Thinking you are inferior, a failure, or mediocre in comparison to others whom you want to be like

Comparing yourself to others who have more than you
Comparing yourself to people who have characteristics that you wish you had
Thinking you are unappreciated
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of envy

Muscles tightening
Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening
Feeling your face flush or get hot
Feeling rigidity in your body
Pain in the pit of your stomach
Having an urge to get even
Hating the other person

Wanting to hurt the people you envy
Wanting the person or people you envy to lose what they have, to have bad luck, or to be hurt
Feeling pleasure when others experience failure or lose what they have
Feeling unhappy if another person experiences some good luck
Feeling motivated to improve yourself
Other:

Expressions and actions of envy

Doing everything you can to get what the other person has
Working a lot harder than you were to get what you want
Trying to improve yourself and your situation
Taking away or ruining what the other person has
Attacking or criticizing the other person
Doing something to get even
Doing something to make the other person fail or lose what they have

Saying mean things about the other person or making the person look bad to other
Trying to show up the other person or look better than the other person
Avoiding people who have what you want
Other:

Aftereffects of envy

Narrowing of attention
Attending only to what others have that you don't
Ruminating when others have had more than you

Discounting what you do not have; not appreciating things you have or things others do for you
Ruminating about what you don't have
Making resolutions to change
Other:

Fear words

fear
anxiety
apprehension

dread
edginess
fright

horror
hysteria
jumpiness

nervousness
overwhelmed
panic

shock
tenseness
terror

uneasiness
worry

Prompting events for feeling fear

Having your life, your health, or your well-being threatened
Being in the same situation (or a similar one) where you have been threatened or gotten hurt in the past, or where painful things have happened
Flashbacks
Being in situations where you have seen others threatened or hurt
Silence

Being in a new or unfamiliar situation
Being alone (e.g. walking alone, being home alone, living alone)
Being in the dark
Being in crowds
Leaving your home
Having to perform in front of others
Pursuing your dreams
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of fear

Believing that:

You might die, or you are going to die
You might be hurt or harmed
You might lose something valuable
Someone might reject, criticize, or dislike you
You will embarrass yourself
Failure is possible; expecting to fail

Believing that:

You will not get help you want or need
You might lose help you already have
You might lose someone important
You might lose something you want
You are helpless or losing a sense of control
You are incompetent or are losing mastery

Other:

Biological changes and experiences of fear

Breathlessness
Fast heartbeat
Choking sensation, lump in throat
Muscles tensing, cramping
Clenching teeth
Urge to scream or call out

Feeling nauseated
Getting cold; feeling clammy
Feeling your hairs standing on end
Feeling of "butterflies" in your stomach
Wanting to run away or to avoid things
Other:

Expressions and actions of fear

Fleeing, running away
Running or walking hurriedly
Hiding from or avoiding what you fear
Engaging in nervous, fearful talk
Pleading or crying for help
Talking less or becoming speechless
Screaming or yelling
Darting eyes or quickly looking around
Frozen stare

Talking yourself out of doing what you fear
Freezing, or trying not to move
Crying or whimpering
Shaking, quivering, or trembling
A shaky or trembling voice
Sweating or perspiring
Hair standing on end
Other:

Aftereffects of fear

Narrowing of attention
Being hypervigilant to threat
Losing your ability to focus or becoming disoriented or dazed
Losing control

Imagining the possibility of more loss or failure
Isolating yourself
Ruminating about other threatening times
Other:

Happiness words

happiness
joy
enjoyment
relief
amusement
enthrallment
hope

satisfaction
bliss
enthusiasm
jolliness
thrill
cheerfulness
euphoria

joviality
triumph
contentment
excitement
jubilation
zaniness
delight

exhilaration
optimism
zest
eagerness
gaiety
pleasure
zeal

ecstasy
gladness
pride
elation
glee
rapture

Prompting events for feeling happiness

Receiving a wonderful surprise
Reality exceeding your expectations
Getting what you want
Gtting something you have worked hard for or worried about
Things turning out better than you thought they would
Being successful at a task
Achieving a desirable outcome
Receiving esteem, respect, or praise

Receiving love, liking, or affection
Being accepted by others
Belonging somewhere or with someone or a group
Being with or in contact with people who love or like you
Having very pleasurable sensations
Doing things that create or bring to mind pleasurable sensations
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of happiness

Interpreting joyful events just as they are, without adding or subtracting
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of happiness

Feeling excited
Feeling physically energetic or active
Feeling like giggling or laughing
Feeling your face flush
Feeling calm all the way through

Urge to keep doing what is associated with happiness
Feeling at peace
Feeling open or expansive
Other:

Expressions and actions of happiness

Smiling
Having a bright, glowing face
Being bouncy or bubbly
Communicating your good feelings
Sharing the feeling
Silliness

Hugging people
Jumping up and down
Saying positive things
Using an enthusiastic or excited voice
Being talkative or talking a lot
Other:

Aftereffects of happiness

Being courteous or friendly to others
Doing nice things for other people
Having a positive outlook
Seeing the bright side

Having a higher threshold for worry or annoyance
Remembering and imagining other times you have felt joyful
Expecting to feel joyful in the future
Other:

Jealousy words

jealous
cautious
clinging

clutching
defensive
mistrustful

fear of losing someone/something
possessive

rivalrous
suspicious
self-protective

wary
watchful

Prompting events for feeling jealous

An important relationship is threatened or in danger of being lost
A potential competitor pays attention to someone you love
Someone:

Is threatening to take away important things in your life
Goes out with the person you like
Ignores you while talking to a friend of yours
Is more attractive, outgoing, or self-confident than you

You are treated as unimportant by a person you want to be close to
Your partner tells you that he or she desires more time alone
Your partner appears to flirt with someone else
A person you are romantically involved with looks at someone else
Your partner spends a lot of time with another person
You find the person you love is having an affair with someone else
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of jealousy

Believing that:

Your partner does not care for you anymore
You are nothing to your partner
Your partner is going to leave you
Your partner is behaving inappropriately
You don't measure up
You deserve more than what you are receiving

Believing that:

You were cheated
No one cares about you
Your rival is possessive and competitive
Your rival is insecure
Your rival is envious

Other:

Biological changes and experiences of jealousy

Breathlessness
Fast heartbeat
Choking sensation, lump in throat
Muscles tensing
Teeth clenching
Becoming suspicious of others
Having injured pride

Feelings of rejection
Needing to be in control
Feeling helpless
Wanting to grasp or keep hold of what you have
Wanting to push away or eliminate your rival
Other:

Expressions and actions of jealousy

Violent behavior or threats of violence toward the person threatening to take something away
Attempting to control the freedom of the person you are afraid of losing
Verbal accusations of disloyalty or unfaithfulness
Spying on the person

Interrogating the person; demanding accounting of time or activities
Collecting evidence of wrongdoings
Clinging; enhanced dependency
Increased or excessive demonstrations of love
Other:

Aftereffects of jealousy

Narrowing of attention
Seeing the worst in others
Being mistrustful across the board

Being hypervigilant to threats to your relationships
Becoming isolated or withdrawn
Other:

Love words

love
adoration
affection
arousal
attraction

caring
charmed
compassion
desire

enchantment
fondness
infatuation
kindness

liking
longing
lust
passion

sentimentality
sympathy
tenderness
warmth

Prompting events for feeling love

A person:

Offers or gives you something you want, need, or desire
Does things you want or need
Does things you particularly value or admire

Feeling physically attracted to someone

Being with someone you have fun with
You spend a lot of time with a person
You share a special experience with a person
You have exceptionally good communication with a person
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of love

Believing that a person loves, needs, or appreciates you
Thinking that a person is physically attractive
Judging a person's personality as wonderful, pleasing, or attractive

Believing that a person can be counted on, or will always be there for you
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of love

When you are with or thinking about someone:

Feeling excited and full of energy
Fast heartbeat
Feeling self-confident
Feeling invulnerable
Feeling happy, joyful, or exuberant
Feeling warm, trusting, and secure
Feeling relaxed and calm

Wanting:

The best for a person
To give things to a person
To see and spend time with a person
To spend your life with a person
Physical closeness or intimacy
Emotional closeness

Other:

Expressions and actions of love

Saying "I love you"
Expressing positive feelings to a person
Eye contact, mutual gaze
Touching, petting, hugging, holding, cuddling
Physical intimacy

Smiling
Sharing time and experiences with someone
Doing things that the other person wants or needs
Other:

Aftereffects of love

Only seeing a person's positive side
Feeling forgetful or distracted; daydreaming
Feeling openness and trust
Feeling 'alive,' capable
Remembering other people you have loved

Remembering other people who have loved you
Remembering other positive events
Believing in yourself; believing you are wonderful, capable, competent
Other:

sadness words

sadness
despair
grief
misery
agony

disappointment
homesickness
neglect
alienation
discontentment

pity
anguish
dismay
hurt
rejection

crushed
displeasure
insecurity
sorrow
defeat
distraught

disconnected
suffering
dejection
gloom
loneliness
unhappiness

depression
glumness
melancholy
alone
woe

Prompting events for feeling sadness

Losing something or someone irretrievably
The death of someone you love
Things not being what you expected or wanted
Things being worse than you expected
Being separated from someone you care for
Getting what you don't want
Not getting what you have worked for
Not getting what you believe you need in life
Being rejected, disapproved of, or excluded

Discovering that you are powerless or helpless
Being with someone else who is sad or in pain
Reading or hearing about other people's problems or troubles in the world
Being alone, or feeling isolated or like an outsider
Thinking about everything you have not gotten
Thinking about your losses
Thinking about missing someone
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of sadness

Believing that a separation from someone will last for a long time or will never end
Believing that you will not get what you want or need in your life

Seeing things or your life as hopeless
Believing that you are worthless or not valuable
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of sadness

Feeling tired, run down, or low in energy
Feeling lethargic, listless; wanting to stay in bed all day
Feeling as if nothing is pleasurable any more
Pain or hollowness in your chest or gut
Feeling empty

Feeling as if you can't stop crying, or if you ever start crying you will never be able to stop
Difficulty swallowing
Breathlessness
Dizziness
Other:

Expressions and actions of sadness

Avoiding things
Acting helpless; staying in bed; being inactive
Moping, brooding, or acting moody
Making slow, shuffling movements
Withdrawing from social contact
Avoiding activities that used to bring pleasure
Giving up and no longer trying to improve

Saying sad things
Taking little or not at all
Using a quiet, slow, or monotonous voice
Eyes drooping
Frowning, not smiling
Posture slumping
Sobbing, crying, whimpering
Other:

Aftereffects of sadness

Not being able to remember happy things
Feeling irritable, touchy, or grouchy
Yearning and searching for the thing lost
Having a negative outlook
Blaming or criticizing yourself

Ruminating about sad events in the past
Insomnia
Appetite disturbance, indigestion
Other:

shame words

shame
contrition

culpability
discomposure

embarrassment
humiliation

mortification
self-conscious

shyness

Prompting events for feeling shame

Being rejected by people you care about
Having others find out that you have done something wrong
Doing (or feeling or thinking) something that people you admire believe is wrong or immoral
Comparing some aspect of yourself or your behavior to a standard and feeling as if you do not live up to that standard
Being betrayed by a person that you love
Being laughed at or made fun of
Being criticized in public or in front of someone else; remembering public criticism

Being reminded of something wrong, immoral, or 'shameful' you did in the past
Being rejected or criticized for something you expected praise for
Having emotions or experiences that have been invalidated
Exposure of a very private aspect of yourself or your life
Exposure of a physical characteristic that you dislike
Failing at something you feel you are, or should be, competent to do
Others attacking your integrity
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of shame

Believing that others will reject you (or have rejected you)
Judging yourself to be inferior, 'not good enough,' not as good as others; self-invalidation
Comparing yourself to others and thinking that you are a 'loser'
Believing that you are unlovable
Thinking that you are bad, immoral, or wrong

Thinking that you are defective
Thinking that you are a bad person or a failure
Believing that your body (or a body part) is too big, too small, or ugly
Thinking that you have not lived up to others' expectations of you
Thinking that your behavior, thoughts, or feelings are silly or stupid
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of shame

Pain in the pit of your stomach
Sense of dread
Wanting to shrink down and/or disappear

Wanting to hide or cover your face and/or body
Other:

Expressions and actions of shame

Hiding behavior or a characteristic from other people
Avoiding the person you have harmed
Avoiding persons who have criticized you
Avoiding yourself – distracting, ignoring
Withdrawing; covering the face
Bowing your head, groveling

Appeasing; saying you are sorry over and over
Looking down and away from others
Sinking back; slumped and rigid posture
Halting speech; lowered volumes while talking
Other:

Aftereffects of shame

Avoiding thinking about your transgression; shutting down; blocking all emotions
Engaging in distracting, impulsive behaviors to divert your mind or attention
High amount of 'self-focus'; preoccupation with yourself
Depersonalization, dissociative experiences, numbness, or shock

Attacking or blaming others
Conflicts with other people
Isolation, feeling alienated
Impairment in problem-solving ability
Other:

Guilt words

guilt

culpability

remorse

apologetic

regret

sorry

Prompting events for feeling guilt

Doing or thinking something you believe is wrong
Doing or thinking something that violates your personal values
Not doing something you said that you would do
Committing a transgression against another person or something that you value

Causing harm or damage to another person or object
Causing harm or damage to yourself
Being reminded of something you did wrong in the past
Other:

Interpretations of events that prompt feelings of guilt

Thinking that your actions are to blame for something
Thinking that you behaved badly

Thinking "If only I had done something differently . . . "
Other:

Biological changes and experiences of guilt

Hot, red face
Jitteriness, nervousness

Feeling as if you are suffocating
Other:

Expressions and actions of guilt

Trying to repair the harm, make amends for the wrongdoing, fix the damage, change the outcome
Asking for forgiveness, apologizing, confessing

Giving gifts or making sacrifices to make up for the transgression
Other:

Aftereffects of guilt

Making resolutions to change
Making changes in behavior

Joining self-help programs
Other: