Opposite Action

Use opposite action when your emotions do NOT fit the facts (see: check the facts) or when acting on your emotions is NOT effective (see: pros & cons).
Every emotion has an action urge

Change the emotion by acting opposite to its action urge.


Consider these examples:

Emotion Action Urge Opposite Action
Fear Run away / avoid Approach / don't avoid
Anger Attack Gently avoid / be a little nice
Sadness Withdraw / isolate Get active
Shame Hide / avoid Tell the secret to people
who will accept it
How to do opposite action, step by step
  1. Identify and name the emotion you want to change.
  2. Check the facts to see if your emotion is justified by the facts. Check also whether the intensity and duration of the emotion fit the facts. An emotion is justified when your emotion fits the facts.
  3. Identify and describe your action urges.
  4. Ask wise mind: Is expression or acting on this emotion effective in this situation?
    If your emotion does not fit the facts or if acting on your emotion is not effective:
  5. Identify opposite actions to your action urges.
  6. Act opposite all the way to your action urges.
  7. Repeat acting opposite to your action urges until your emotion changes.