Radical Acceptance

Pain + Non-Acceptance = Suffering

Radical means all the way, complete and total.
It is accepting in your mind, heart, and body.
It is when you stop fighting reality, stop throwing tantrums because reality is not the way you want it, and let go of bitterness.

Reality as it is. The facts about the past and the present are the facts, even if you don't like them.
There are limitations on the future for everyone (but only realistic limitations need to be accepted).
Everything has a cause, including events and situations that cause you pain and suffering.
Life can be worth living even with painful events and emotions in it.

Rejecting reality does not change reality.
Changing reality first requires accepting reality.
Pain cannot be avoided. It is nature's way of signaling that something is wrong.
Rejecting reality turns pain into suffering.
Refusing to accept reality can keep you stuck in unhappiness, bitterness, anger, sadness, shame, or other painful emotions.
Acceptance may lead to sadness, but deep calmness usually follows.
The path out of hell is through misery. By refusing to accept the misery that is part of climbing out of hell, you fall back into hell.

Observe that you are questioning or fighting reality ("It shouldn't be this way").
Remind yourself that the unpleasant reality is just as it is and cannot be changed ("This is what happened").
Remind yourself that there are causes for the reality. Acknowledge that some sort of history led up to this very moment. Consider how people's lives have been shaped by a series of factors. Notice that given these causal factors and how history led up to this moment, this reality had to occur in just this way ("This is how things happened").
Practice accepting with the whole self (mind, body, and spirit). Be creative in finding ways to involve your whole self. Use accepting self-talk, but also consider using mindfulness skills and skills like improving the moment.
Practice opposite action. List all the behaviors you would do if you did accept the facts. Then act as if you have already accepted the facts. Engage in the behaviors that you would do if you really had accepted the facts.
Cope ahead with events that seem unacceptable. Imagine believing what you don't want to accept. Rehearse in your mind what you would do if you accepted what seems unacceptable.
Attend to body sensations as you think about what you need to accept.
Allow disappointment, sadness, or gried to arise within you.
Acknowledge that life can be worth living even when there is pain.
Do pros and cons if you find yourself resisting practicing acceptance.